all images and stories are the property of Catherine Beerda-Basso and are not to be used without given permission...thank you

Sunday, 28 September 2014

an unexpected sorrow...an unexpected gift

(The family...saying goodbye to the Young Blood)

It was my husband who saw him first...


...we were on our way home
after a wonderful weekend with The Young Blood
at his new home in Tofino.
I had not seen him since May
and time together had been greatly needed.
An amazing weekend was spent reconnecting
and enjoying Mother Natures glory
in this magical place.
Where Mountains stretch to the sky
Rain Forests run vast and wild
and Mama Ocean is fierce and wonderful....
and there He was
bedding down on the side of the only road
into or out of this sacred place...
the road that would take us back into the noise of living.


I had not seen him.
And longing to perhaps capture an image
I asked my love if we could turn around.
He sighed as there was a ferry to catch
and a tradition to be up held.
But as his heart is so,
he pulled the truck over to make the sketchy turn around....


We drove up across from him
and pulled to the side of the road.
There he was blending into all that was around him
My love took a shot...wrong lens and too far away.
We idled for a moment watching him
and quickly it became apparent 
something was not right.
We drove ahead to find yet another place to turn around
so we could be closer
and asses what exactly was happening
For He was not making any effort to leave
his precarious spot.
Even as the cars flew by, he made no effort
to retreat into the thick of the forest...
into the safety and cover of Mather Natures hug.


A dull feeling began to grow within my gut
and as we came back upon him,
this time on his side of the road,
I knew things were not right...
he had been hit
hit bad enough he could no longer get up.

He was stunning.
Beautiful in every sense of the word
I captured some images as I spoke to him.
He watched me closely
I longed to get out of the vehicle
and wrap my arms around his neck
but I did not.
And after I was done
we all just looked as him
knowing that being this close to him
observing him in this manor
was a sacred gift....
*
And then he began to speak to me.
*
As the tears rolled down my cheeks
He told me that even the most beautiful of things
must die...

He knew he was dying
and was completely surrendered to that.

The life-death-life cycle was part of his DNA
and he did not question it.
He peered into my soul and revealed to me
the death that was happening within me.
He spoke to me about letting what needed to die
die
and that by doing so
I would be making room for the new life
waiting to be born...
there was more
sacred things
held between The Divine and myself
things to be held within 
my own sacred alter of my soul.

These few minutes I shared with him...
(I am not sure how long it was we lingered)
went straight to the core of my being.
The tears fully flowed as our hearts entwined.
He was suffering
and we knew we had to do something....


My husband made the appropriate calls
making sure someone would come
and see to this magnificent creatures needs...
I could not hold back the sobs as we pulled away
I felt my heart tearing from the top
to the bottom
Even now as I write this
the tears still come
this unexpected gift
this unexpected sorrow
To bear witness to the True Balance
To view a deeper reflection of this life
moved my heart so.

We continued onto our traditional stopping spot
before leaving
this our most favorite place...
and I poured my tears into Mama Ocean
Tears of sorrow
Tears of humility
Tears of gratitude
Tears of joy
So deeply moved am I
by the Divinity that Is
by the Deep Love that  is ours for the taking
for the Abundance of Giving
for the way we are each held
so precious
so important
so valid
to a Creator
whose Love reaches to the ends of infinity.

video
(this video was my second take...the first I was unable to contain my emotion)

*
 More thoughts on surrender with deer...
Earlier in the year I took an embodiment journey with deer.
I entered her body and she took me into the meadow where she and her herd grazed. The stillness was beautiful, and yet within the stillness I heard every sound...
and I could hear how each how they each flowed together like a  choir, like meditation.
There was a deep peace and freedom within these sounds.
We stayed plugged into all that was going on around us
and yet
stayed in this place of still peace
I could not help but ask her how she lived in this unique kind of peace even though she was being hunted by man and other animals for food.
She told me she did not live in that thought.
her thoughts were about her herd, mating, 
raising her young,
listening to the forest and nourishing herself.
She did not focus on the fact that she was hunted
until the time when she was being hunted came.
Then she would use her swiftness and knowledge of her surroundings to do what she could to continue in this life. 
As she spoke I felt her level of 
surrender and un-attatchment...
instead she carried the deep knowing 
that all things here come to an end at some point
and in that knowing
she was, is and always would be.

Tell me lovelies
when you look at Him
what is it you see?
what is it you hear?
what is it you know?

Love and Light 

14 comments:

  1. What I see is unspeakable beauty, what I know is that you were right where you were supossed to be with the perfect partner who turned the truck around and around again and made the proper call. Your heart was open and you heard the message and the whole world is now better for it ... blessings to you dear (deer) heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. such beauty...yes Susan
      we wish we could have done more in that moment...but we did what we could

      love and light dear one♥

      Delete
  2. I see surrender in him. Acceptance. Resting deeply for there is no need to fight or flight...simply rest until the time is upon him. Crying as I read this. I know this sorrow. Sorrow of helplessness when an animal suffers. Death is very much better than suffering. This is harder to me than witnessing death. I ache at the wondering of how long he suffered and was there more suffering in his rescue? Or did the responders to his rescue have the compassion to simple take the shot to end the suffering. This aches in me more than death. The not knowing hurts. His beauty and ease bring me back to his strength in acceptance and rest and peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. as is and was the same for me...to leave him was heart wrenching...absolutely...Steve said if he had only had his gun....we could have assisted this beautiful creature together...I have been assured that he arose in his death and is free....thank you sister for "seeing"

      love and light

      Delete
  3. complete surrender.
    to live each day, each moment, to the fullest, each moment as it comes.
    to return to the source.

    beautiful reminder.
    beautiful post.

    ReplyDelete
  4. What an incredible experience and message. When I look at him I see beauty, acceptance and peace or calmness in the waiting. A reminder of the life death life cycle and to truly "be" in whatever moment we are in. Thank you for sharing this Cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you for witnessing dear sister

      love and light

      Delete
  5. This is a most moving post!
    I have had this feeling for a long time that when the time comes we all connect to the Divine in ways not known until then. My love was the most gracious and loving person at the same time as suffering severe pain until his death as you know, this inspires me to accept life as it is. All the beautiful comments here inspire me too! And that ocean video what a gift! I was not expecting that, listening to the wild roar and your lovely voice, complete with laughter as your puppy wants to play this is a perfect snap shot of life....thank you and hugs sweet sister. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Deep, knowing truth in your words...this is the wisdom that bearing witness to a life passing gives
      forever in your heart Sue...Your Love walks with you♥

      love and light

      Delete
  6. I see knowledge. Of what happened, of what is coming, that it can not be avoided, no fight or flight against it. But there is also knowledge there of a life *lived,* as only wild things can.
    Thank you for calling for help for him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my husbands wish was that he had his rifle with him...we would have assisted ourselves...instead we did the next best thing
      thank you for bearing witness as his story lives on as does his spirit in each of us...

      love and light

      Delete
  7. I see in him a knowing and a deep connection to the process he is apart of in this sacred life. He is surrender, he is life and death. What a profoundly beautiful moment to witness and be gifted. To hold that moment with him as he has his final time here in this lifetime in a sacred place. To have you provide as much sacred space for him as he held for you and now for us. Thank you beautiful women for sharing him and for sharing you laughter in your video. It was so joyous and soul touching.
    Aho!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. he is surrender
      aho

      love and light

      Delete

Your voice is welcome here, your connection appreciated. Love and Light